A-Bomb and ...

Eating contests and Eating challenges around Kona & Denver

It's The Real World. It is. (3)

So I tuned in. And not only was I horrified to see that Denver had been boiled down to Monarck, the Downtown Tavern and a few shots of the aliens outside the Denver Performing Arts Complex, but MTV had poisoned our city with hands-down the worst cast in Real World history. If I were in college now and people said, "Hey, Adam, The Real World: Denver! Aren't you from Denver?" I would respond, "No, I'm from Pueblo, which is in Colorado, so I can see how you would get confused. Now, who wants to binge-drink?"

Although there have been some horrible cast members in the Real World's past, never in the program's history have there been so many awful people under one roof. I even hesitate to call them people, because really, what they are is infections. You ever watch a show about infections? It's not such a good time. And apparently, all of America agreed. Ratings were so low that MTV was forced to shit out another Real World/Road Rules Challenge to show alongside it. That's how desperate things got.

But thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, this week marks the final episode of The Real World: Denver, and in honor of the death of the show, I would like to address each of the cast members individually, from who I hated most to least.

* We will continue after a word from our sponsor *


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