Double Digits

What better way to drown my sorrows over the whole Beau Jo's disappointment than to take in a pound of deep fat fried testicles.


Jackson's Lodo in Denver was the scene of the aforementioned testicular mastication. They kicked off their Testicle Festival with a rocky mountain oyster eating contest. You might remember that I entered an RMO eating contest in March. Those RMOs were baked. Mealy, livery-tasting, and not too good. I liked the bake preparation as that's much better health-wise than fried, but the fried ones certainly were much tastier. I would've had no idea I was eating balls if I had not known I was eating balls.


The rooftop patio was packed. Five of us stepped up to grab the fame. And the trophy. And the $100. I grabbed the table pole position - right in the middle. Usher was to my right. Dude was one spot farther. GQ to my left. Vato to his left.


The RMOs were brought out. Each of us got a 1 pound basket of fried goodness. Format - first to finish, then 2nd to finish, then 3rd. I had a bottle of water in my left hand, and would insert the food with the other. On go, I started and got off to a lead right away. These were pretty easy to get down. After the Beau Jo's, the roof of my mouth was sort of torn up. These certainly didn't help. But for the 3 minutes I was hungry, focused, and really wanted the trophy and the win.

My 3 minutes blew away the other guys. 2nd was about 5 minutes. 3rd a bit after that. Usher puked. And GQ got maybe 4 or 5 down.


#10. Hardware. Hundreds of drunk idiots chanting "Bite Me, Bite Me!". Good times, good times!


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