What?!?

I am not one to comment on what people post on their own internet site. They can think, write and post whatever they want. So when I read Beautiful Brian's rant against eatfeats.com and ojrifkin, and how eatfeats.com incites hate, and how that site has done all kinds of bad stuff for competitive eating, blah blah blah, I had to think "wtf crawled up his ass and died?". I can't remember any specifics that were in his manifesto - and he's since removed it - but suffice it to say that he blames eatfeats and oj for just about everything. Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle back? And he bitches and moans about how people head to eatfeats instead of his site. Uh, yeah right. Meh, whatever.

But having said that, you've got to check out his take on what the competitors at the Nathan's weigh-in were thinking. That's some good stuff!

Bourdain Does The Big Texan

A while ago I posted about seeing Anthony Bourdain on the webcam at the Big Texan. Here's the show:

Aug. 04 10:00PM ET
(60 minutes)
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
U.S. Southwest

Tony is off on a great American road trip, ready to explore the quirky, dark, classic Americana that is the country's Southwestern region. The Southwest is all about being big - big roadside tacos, big wide open wastelands, big rock stars, and big guns.

Hot Dog Eating

The finals of the Chow Down for Charity Hotdog Eating Contest were held at Steve's Snappin' Dogs. These contests benefited the Colorado Aids Walk and Project Angel Heart -- two great causes and the contests were a bunch of fun too.

There were four qualifiers held every other week since June 1. The top two eaters from each qualifier advanced to the finals. Of the 8 of us that qualified there were two no-shows at the finals but Steve had some reserves waiting to hop in.

There was a great turnout of spectators and press. Steve & Mike did an incredible job with all of this. This will be big soon.

I'll have more photos later because T-bonz's view of the action was obstructed by people:

What T-bonz could see. That's me between the girl and the backwards-cap-guy.

So we were introduced and we all got set at the table, and a plate of 16 hot dogs were in front of each competitor. The final contest was, just as the qualifiers were, picnic style eating. You couldn't dunk and you couldn't separate the hot dog and bun. For the 3-minute qualifier I went with a bite-swig plan. I knew doing that for the 8 minute final would not be smart because I'd fill up on liquid so for the finals I went with the ketchup-squeeze method. Dress each with ketchup and squeeze the piss out of each hot dog and bun as I ate them. Such that the ketchup would serve sort of as a good lubricant. But good lubricants are hard to find. It's not right to put ketchup on a hot dog but between ketchup and mustard the milder choice is the ketchup. I tried it some before the finals, and it worked, so it was a go.

The countdown from 10 started, and we were off. I started out well -- getting two down in under a minute. Good start, and my pre-contest predictions for myself looked good. I normally set a minimum-I-sure-as-hell-should-hit, an expected-for-me-to-hit, a number-I-could-hit, and the number-it-would-take-to-win. Mine were 8, 10, 12, 14. I try not to count when eating - I try to just eat and what happens, well, happens. I listen for the emcee updates and go from there.

Continuing on, numbers 1 and 2 happened but then things didn't happen. In the end, I finished with 8. Going in I didn't think Philip or Mike would be able to maintain 8 minutes, but they did so I have to congratulate them. Philip gets an automatic bye next year.

Here's my plate at the end. Not the plate in the foreground but one behind that, next to the overturned bottle:

As for me, my 8 was the minimum I thought I'd get. I ate like a little byotch but it was all fun, good times for the charities, and a good show for the crowd so it's all good.

Results

Phil Soderborg - 13
Mike McAvoy - 12.5
David Ruskjer - 10
Donavon Busta - 9
Andrew "A-Bomb" Lane - 8
San Wong - 7
John Spivey - 6
Ron Bolseth - 5

Hot Dogs & BBQ

Today the finals of the hot dog contest took place at Steve's Snappin' Dogs in Denver. The winner put down 13 of the delicious Thumann's hot dogs in 8 minutes. 2nd ate 12.5 of the dogs. As in the qualifiers, the hot dogs were eaten picnic style. They could be dressed with mustard and/or ketchup but no dunking or separating allowed. Bad day for me. But more on that whole thing in a while.

The bigger story is I tried the new sammich at the best local BBQ joint, Brothers BBQ.

It's called The Brother. It's good. Hot Links, pulled Pork Shoulder, Cole Slaw with Tangy Vinegar BBQ Sauce, jalapenos, and fried onions:

Above is how the sammich arrived. No sauce, just very tasty smoked meats.


When they brought our order they also set down an assortment of sauces. A tangy vinegar-based, a sweet one, and the Brothers Original. I went with the Original - very good, peppery, and just the right kick to it.

It's good.

There was severe sammich failure:

The bun seemed to be a normal burger bun you can buy in a pack of 8 at any grocery store. Not a bad bun so much, but maybe it is poor construction: I think they're going for height and perhaps they should pick a wider bun so the sammich would not be so tall. Overall, I'm glad I finally got to taste the new menu item, but it's not everything I thought it would be. Good, don't get me wrong but not a huge wow factor.

Almost.

Almost..

Almost...

Tuna Feesh!

I just found out about something called the Great American Seafood Cook Off. This is really exciting to me because I love seafood. Now, I’m not too good at cooking seafood and making a really great tasting meal but I do know how to eat it! If I was in this cook off then I guess I could bring it on with my favorite dish – I can even prepare it! Tuna fish, my favorite dish. I do it up healthily using mustard instead of gross gross gross mayonnaise. Mayo is easily the most disgusting thing ever invented for human consumption. Hate it! Tuna is great without it. And tuna is wonderful because, here, the source is known, it is local and fresh. Okay, maybe not, but it is good.

This is a great event and someone can win big bucks! And make a great dish! Cook off is soon, so get ready now! To the tuna fish, add mustard, Mrs. Dash, relish. What else? You tell me by replying on this post. There are many things you can add; you must have your own favorite! So get creating and check out the Great American Seafood Cook Off, get excited about it, and have fun! See you later!

I DID IT!

Texas-sized baked potato
Dinner salad
Shrimp cocktail
Dinner roll
and
64 ounces of top sirloin

WOOHOO!

Oh wait, the steak challenge at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, Texas is not a 64 ounce steak dinner in one hour. It's a 72 ounce steak dinner in one hour. Oh yeah. Strike two.

T-bonz, her momma (might I add my hot dog contest-winning mother-in-law) and I hit the road Friday. I blinked a bit too long and crossed the center line on a two-way road. Scared that pickup driver pretty good. T-bonz got a speeding ticket in lovely Campo, Colorado. But we finally we got to Amarillo Friday evening during a downpour of Biblical proportions (is it a coincidence that the there was a huge Jehovah Witness convention in Amarillo?).

I felt ready for it. We limoed to the place.
Note to self: Skip that next time.

After trying it in May I said this thing can be done and I still feel that way. The meat's big, no doubt about it.

I started on the meat first. Cutting around the outsides and working my way in toward the middle, I was doing well - a bit over half of it in 15 minutes. And like last time the steak was very good. I started to throw in some bites of the salad, shrimp and roll to get some flavor variety.

All according to my plan going in (which I summed up simply Eat Faster). But when I had not finished the meat in 30 minutes, 40 minutes, 50 minutes, I thought that might suck. But I kept eating. For about the last 8 or 9 minutes my mouth was stuffed pretty full.

More full than I know is smart. Toward the end of time a hostess got up and cut away an ounce or so of fat.

Go. Go. I stuffed in the last of the potato at about 20 seconds remaining. Bummer that my mouth was jam packed then because I could have totally stuffed the last bit of meat in there. 8 ounces. Fuck.

F*ck.

F*ck.

I got a couple of shout out shots.
Badlands kicks ass!

Bite Me!

And also one to the crowd. Dinner and a show. Can't be beat.

Not the ending I wanted to shout out, but it is what it is.

Since starting to eat in mid 2005 that's been my weak point. I can get the food to the mouth. I can get the food in the mouth. I can deal with the food in the stomach. It's that whole part about conveying the food between the mouth and stomach that sucks for me.

A few bites of the monstrous carrot cake that T-bonz and her momma ordered.
Yum.

I was eating from about 6pm to 7pm. I felt OK really until 7:30. Then uncomfortable maybe until 9pm. I snoozed maybe from 9pm to 10pm. Still full, but not uncomfortable. Walked half hour, then went to bed. Metabolism was on fire.

Sunday, I packed my boot and we left.

I now have two of the three free belt buckles that Cavender's Boot City dangles in your face. Two down, one to go.

The full set of photos is here. Including the 29x44 jeans.

8 ounces. Crap.

Dispatch #1 from The Road

Tommye & I are in Amarillo again. Later we will grab a bite to eat. You can watch it here:

http://www.bigtexan.com/72ozlive.htm and click "Watch It Live"

5pm mountain time
6pm central time
7pm eastern time

Road Trip

It's like deja vu all over again...


Tomorrow T-bone and I hit the road. Where will the journey go?

Time's Up?

This is the first gas station in Aurora around where we live that has posted $4 or above for regular unleaded. Other stations here are still $3.90 or $3.92, and the Denver average is still below $4 as well, but I guess maybe the sub-$4 jig is up. Great.

Smokin'

I stumbled upon this, about the Chinook Winds World Rib Eating Championship. There is a thread and there is a photo.

Click here for the photo
and
Click here for the thread

"He looks like he managed to stash at least half of that rib meat in his neck". Classic.

"or does the picture accurately portray the physical state of a person who has injested 8lbs. of meat?". Not bad, but the other one is better.

Big Meat

Before Amarillo, this:

A Rancher's Reserve Boneless Beef Round Steak. In the package it weighs 3.58 pounds. Last month Safeway had one mutha of a meat sale. Normally buying this meat would be $16.07 but for me it was $5.33. Membership has its rewards, byotch.

As one big piece of meat it would not fit on the Foreman so I cut it in to 3 pieces and grilled them up.

And

And

After trimming the fat and cooking the shit out of the meat so it was bone dry, the 3.58 pounds became 2 pounds 1.9 ounces of leathery very well-done goodness. Not how I take my steaks, but I was trying some things.

Not much fat Foremaned off but there was a good crust on the grill:

The steak a couple of days ago was perfectly cooked and delicious in every way. This one was, anyone would say, not cooked optimally at all. But it was cooked just the way I wanted, actually. And it tasted like shit but very delicious shit.

I'll have some stuff tomorrow and Monday, then begin the colon cleanse before going to Amarillo. And, oh yeah, this time it's personal.

Two Questions

1. I think Furious Pete is not in Joey Chestnut/Pat/Koby territory yet, but who would win between Pete and Eater X (or anyone in the group just below J/P/K)?

2. Will anything come from Gersh Kuntman's video of Kobayashi cheating in the Coney Island finals on July 4th? It was clear to anyone watching the ESPN broadcast that Kobayashi cheated at the end of regulation, but I did not see the commissioner of the IFOCE, Charles Hardy, in Kobayashi's face and allowing the cheating until I saw the video.

Be the Meat

Above, here's my meat on the Foreman. A little pepper is the only seasoning.


The meat was a healthy 1 pound 6.7 ounces pre-cooked.


After cooking to a really nice medium, the meat was 1 pound, 2.3 ounces.


The bone and fat was 6.2 ounces.

And here's what dripped off while cooking:

The Burrito

It is just under two weeks out. T1, T2, and I hit The Rock in Aurora.

They have a 5 pound burrito:

You choose bean or beef or chicken. Or 1/2 of one + 1/2 of the other. I went with 1/2 bean and 1/2 chicken. Above is the burrito .. 6lb 15oz including the 2lb 14oz plate. Add to that 4lb burrito the 1lb additional plate with tomato, lettuce, rice, and beans:

Let's do it. The cheese... meh. But it's all good.

The first few bites were quite temperature hot.

Here is about halfway through. The shredded chicken and beans were blended together well.


Getting there...

Below, the last bite of the burrito:

And the last bite. I went at the burrito first, then the side plate.

T1 & T2 graciously allowed me to put aside two onion rings for the end.

Below, our server. Thomas has that pointing finger look down cold. If his upper-lower arm angle was greater than 90 degrees it'd be the Crazy Legs Point. But with the angle being below 90 degrees - and with his age factor - that's no doubt the Colbert Point.

Early last year I ate a beef/bean burrito here. That too went well, but this time it went down faster and I felt better overall. And I think it moved faster through the body; under 12 hours from eating to evacuation. That's fast for me. Usually I'm more 18-24 hours. It's not all out, but it is what it is.

P.S. - Furious Pete, buy a scale.

It's Joey *

Last year after Kobayashi puked and ate it back in and was still 2nd, it was going to be fun to watch who would get away with what in the contest this year. From the ESPN telecast nobody did anything really obvious. Joey began a split-second early. At the end stuff, Kobayashi cupped his hand over his mouth, removed it, drank from a Nathan's cup, and put the hand back over his mouth. Joey too cupped his hand over his mouth. But whatever. It was fun to watch. Joey got the benefit of the doubt on the 4th, but when Joey goes to Kobayashi's turf (or near it) at the end of the month you can be sure that any close calls will probably go in Koby's favor.

Here are two links from the Rocky Mountain News. One is a column and the other one is an AP article with a blurry picture.

So Quiet About It

A few posts ago, Field Hockey Players are Hot, some asked about the title. What's it mean? Where's it from? Where we at? Find out here.

Or here:

T-bonz, a puppy!

Look at the puppy!

DMB's Summer So Far

The Dave Matthews Band is on fire this summer tour! The setlists have been incredible, they're playing with ferocious intensity, and they sound great. They have played lots of covers before but their cover choices this summer are terrific. Along with Pink Floyd's Money, some Sly & the Family Stone, and some Rolling Stones, add this - a killer version of "Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel. Wow!

Girls Girls Girls

Some have asked where our twins Max and Frank are at. (That's for you, T-bonz, HA!). Click here to find out.

Big Reveal

So have my workouts paid off or WHAT!

Get Gear Here!

There is no doubt that I think one of the best ways to be a bad ass is to have guns or other military stuff, and even better is to look like you are ex-military. Or ex-police. Police are bad ass, no doubt about it! And to do so you can look really good by shopping at LA Police Gear. Want some Bates boots or the latest and greatest Under Armour products? They also have some great 511 tactical clothing that looks great and is very durable. The Luminox watches are really nice. Check out the site and see what you can get. Gotta love free shipping – both ways!